


Just Another Graceless Night

by orphan_account



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: District 13 (Hunger Games), F/F, I might add more tags later, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Katniss dances with Johanna at Finnick and Annie’s wedding, a spark lights within her.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Johanna Mason
Comments: 17
Kudos: 48





	1. Dancing With You

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing Joniss, hope you like! This chapter is a bit short but future chapters will be longer!

”Come on, Mockingjay. Don’t you want Snow to see you having the time of your life? Come, dance!” Johanna says over the noise of the crowd.

My ribs still ache from treatment, but Johanna’s right. I have to let Snow see me having fun. He has to know that he hasn’t crushed the spirits of District Thirteen. We’re having a wedding, for goodness sake! “Okay, fine. You’ve persuaded me,” I say in a mock-defeated tone. For some reason, I’m surprised when Johanna holds out her hand for me to take. I don’t know who I was expecting. My mother and Prim are already dancing with one another! 

I step forward and take Johanna’s hand. She leads me out to the dance floor just as the fiddler starts a peppy dance song. Johanna and I fall into a rhythm. We’re in the middle of the room now, dancing together. She spins me. I twirl her. Some people have taken to just watching us and clapping along to the beat of the song. Someone is filming us for a promo. I feel happier than I’ve been in a while. Then the song is over, and I come down from my high. My ribs sting, I feel weak. 

As a romantic song starts, I feel hyperaware of Johanna’s hands on my body. Her left hand on my hip, her right on my shoulder. Her hands seem to be sending gentle shockwaves through my body. She lulls us into a slow, sweet dance. I keep tripping up because I can’t stop staring at her. Johanna leans in and puts her forehead on mine. “Distracted by something, Everdeen?” She teases. I feel my cheeks go pink.

”I—I’m just not very good at slow dancing,” I lie. What on Earth is wrong with me? I’m feeling something similar to how I felt on the beach with Peeta. I think I’m just intimidated by her. Yeah, that’s it. She’s intimidating.

Johanna slides her hand to my waist. My whole body seems to short circuit, and I fall over on to the dance floor. I can’t seem to move. Johanna’s laughing at me. My cheeks flush, and I run out of the room. I’m grateful that everyone’s focusing on Finnick and Annie at the moment. I plant myself on a bench in the hallway. I hear Johanna’s footsteps running after me. “My god, Katniss, am I seriously hot enough to make you fall over?”

”No, it’s not that! It’s just,” I interrupt myself, “I mean, not that you’re not attractive, I just—“ Johanna cuts me off. “Here’s what. I’m going to kiss you since it’s obvious that’s what both of us want. Then we’re going to waltz back into that room as if nothing happened. Sound good?”

My cheeks manage to get redder than they were before. I wish I could be one of those people who doesn’t blush. I stand up. Swiftly, Johanna leans in and kisses me firmly on the mouth.

A pulse of so many emotions goes through my body. I lean in further. Kissing Johanna feels right. At this moment, it’s just Johanna and me. There’s no rebellion, no war. It’s just her beautiful kiss and the softness of her skin. 

Prim’s voice. “Katniss! Are you alright? I saw you and Johanna run out and-“ Prim gasps.

Johanna and I break apart. I guess we’ve been caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! thanks so much for reading, it means a lot to me.   
> -Wren


	2. Ribs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss has to stay behind from training today. She has some time to ponder how Johanna makes her feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I decided to switch up some timing stuff for both this chapter and the rest of the fic because it makes the plot work better. So, it might not be the same timing as the Mockingjay book. Sorry 'bout that!

* * *

“Were you two kissing?” Prim asks, covering her face with her hands. “Prim! No, I was just- Well, we-” I start but Johanna interrupts me, “Katniss fell over on the dancefloor because she’s not stable enough for exercise. She just tipped over in here and I put my arms around her to steady her,”  I wonder how Johanna was able to come up with such a believable lie so quickly. Prim doesn’t seem completely convinced. She gives a slow nod. Thank goodness she walked in from behind us. That’s a lot easier to cover up. “Alright then,” Prim states, “If you’re not feeling great, you should probably head back to the hospital. Just a heads up,” Oh, my little sister. So caring. Honestly, I feel alright but I don’t want to create any more suspicion. 

“C’mon, Katniss, I’ll walk you back. Johanna, go and enjoy the party!” Prim says, taking my hand and starting toward the hospital. I want to stay with Johanna, to dance with her until everyone’s left. Prim’s probably right, though. If I want to get back to training anytime soon, I should rest up because this treatment is quite tough on my ribs. “You sure you’re okay, Katniss?” Prim startles me when we’re about halfway to the hospital wing. “Yeah, just a bit tired. Don’t worry,” I lie. Prim sighs lightly and nods. I hate to lie to Prim, but even I’m not sure about what happened back in the hallway. When we arrive at Johanna and I’s shared hospital room, Prim makes sure I’m settled then heads back to the festivities.

I don’t rest. I stand up and pace the room. I think about the shockwaves that ran through my body when Johanna kissed me. I think about how soft her lips felt on mine. I swear, her hands left warm imprints on my body. What’s going on? Is she still doped up on morphling and didn’t know what she was doing? I try to make sense of it all. I’ve felt edges and bits of this feeling toward Gale and Peeta, but with Johanna, it was different. I felt so, so much of that feeling at once.

And anyhow, Johanna despises me. At least, I think she does. Based on her insults and grinning when I’m in pain, I think it’s safe to say she hates me. When she kissed me, though, she said, “I'm going to kiss you since it's obvious that's what both of us want.” So  _ that  _ means she wanted to kiss me! I don’t think people usually kiss people they hate. I quit pacing and lay back down when I hear footsteps. Part of me is hoping for Johanna but another part of me doesn’t exactly want to see her. I’m relieved that it’s a doctor. I’m less relieved when the doctor is holding a lot of needles and is here to administer my second round of treatment. Just twelve needle jabs later, this round of treatment is done. It doesn’t hurt much now, but I know it’s going to hurt a lot later.

Johanna comes back soon enough. I’m not expecting her to kiss me again or anything, but I hope she’ll at least mention what happened in the hallway. She doesn’t, though. She comes over to my side of the room, probably to siphon some of my morphling. When she realizes they took my morphling away because it’s dangerous with my treatment, she curses loudly and flops down in her bed. She seems to sleep for a bit, but by about three in the morning, my ribs are so unbearable I can’t sleep. Johanna’s going through morphling withdrawal which has ought to be awful. I become subject to every bit of colorful language district 7 has got. I don’t think she’s angry with me specifically, she just needs to take her anger out somewhere. Still, I can’t help but take being called a “bitchtit” personally. 

Johanna eventually realizes that cussing at me isn’t going to make her feel any better. We figure out that we can’t sleep, so we play a game of saying the nastiest curse words we can think of to each other. “Not so innocent, are you, Mockingjay?” Johanna teases. “I don’t know why everyone thinks that!” I rant, “I don’t think “innocent” is a word that can be used to describe  _ any _ Victor!”

“Fair point, Everdeen,” Johanna yawns, “Still, it’s fun to tease you,” I try to laugh but end up wincing. Thank goodness the pain is supposed to ease up within a couple of days. Johanna, on the other hand, has got it a whole lot worse than I do. Withdrawal symptoms can be violent and last for a long time. “I think I’m going to try and get some sleep. Don’t want to disappoint on my first day of training,” Johanna says. She turns over in her bed and somehow, her breathing evens out and she falls asleep. It’s nearly five in the morning now. I think I should probably get some sleep as well but my ribs still hurt something fierce.

Not any more than an hour and a half later, I wake up from a sleep I didn’t know I fell into. Johanna’s gone. I assume she’s at training. Wait, shoot. Training. I’m late! I try to get out of bed but let out a cry when I move. My doctor comes in and I explain that I  _ have  _ to go to training if I’m to be of any use in the Capitol invasion. He tries to calm me down, telling me that I’m to stay and rest all day and can go to training tomorrow. That actually somewhat satisfies me. I figured he’d tell me I had to wait a week or something. 

Even though I’m supposed to be resting all day, I can’t stand to be cooped up in this hospital room any longer. I ease myself out of bed very slowly and carefully. I take slow steps out the door and wander around the corridors. Honestly, I have no idea where I’m going. All the corridors look the same. Gray and drab and boring. All of thirteen is practically the same. Only the numbers on the outside of the compartments change.

I find myself somewhere I’ve never been before. It’s similar to everywhere else, though the doors don’t have numbers, they have letters instead. When I decide to head back, I find myself lost. I try to retrace my steps but have no luck. I know at some point, someone’s going to come look for me so I don’t sweat it. I just sit down on a bench outside a door and wait. 

I allow my mind to wander. Embarrassingly enough, I start thinking about Johanna. About how she makes me feel. I’m still not sure if it’s a good feeling or not. It feels incredibly similar to how I felt on the beach with Peeta, there’s just so much more of that feeling, and I feel it almost every time she touches me or says anything even remotely nice about me.

I hear footsteps coming my way. Thank goodness someone’s come for me. It has to be past lunch by now. My heart skips a beat when I see that it’s Johanna. “Katniss!” She says, “You absolute dumbass. How’d you manage to get yourself lost?”  I go red. “These corridors all look the same!” I say in defense. “Alright, Everdeen. Let’s go back to the hospital wing before you get in trouble for not resting,” Johanna holds out her hand and helps me up and I swear, sparks go from her hand to mine when we touch.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be a lot more active in posting this, I promise! I'm going to be spending a generous amount of time doing absolutely nothing, so there should be more updates. Reviews/comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Wren


	3. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3! I'll be posting either weekly or multiple times a week, so expect more chapters soon!

* * *

I wake up early the next morning because I’m excited about training. My ribs feel less sore now, so now I can stand up without much pain! I’m out of bed, dressed, and ready before Johanna even wakes up. “Johanna, we’ve gotta go. Get up!” I throw open the curtain, and she groans. “Fuck off, I’m sleeping!” I smile.  “Alright, bitchtit,” I say, quoting her from the other night. I swear I see her grin for half a second. She’s up and ready within fifteen minutes. I head to get my schedule. Johanna and I compare--we both have training last. 

Breakfast is gross as usual. I try not to be rude and pretend like I enjoy this slush of who-knows-what. Maybe I’ve ought to get back to hunting so we can have some fresh meat. Johanna might want to come along, but I don’t get my hopes up. I eat fast. I get through all the rest of my schedule impatiently. Sitting through classes isn’t easy, but I manage to do it because I’m eager to get to training. When we finally get there,  It’s pouring rain. I see Johanna tense up. “Oh, it’s just rain. It can’t kill us,” I assure her. She’s from district seven, isn’t she used to rain? Maybe she’s just remembering the blood rain from the clock arena. I still recall her standing there on the beach, soaked in blood. There was sand sticking to the blood on her feet and legs. She was ferocious and looked like she wanted to kill me, yet she still got Nuts and Volts for me. I shake the thought that she was being nice out of my head. She just had to for the rebellion, right?

Johanna brushes her hand against my wrist and I almost reach over to hold her hand. I stop myself in time. That would be embarrassing. Johanna and I both seem surprised that we’re placed with fourteen to fifteen-year-olds. We’re a bit less surprised when they turn out to be way better than us.  We must truly be victors to keep going at training. Endurance training is hard. The push-ups are very hard. The two-mile run is next to impossible, even with Johanna’s motivational insults egging me on. I finish the run last while Johanna shouts, “You absolute slowpoke! Don’t you want to be of any use to the Capitol invasion?” I pass the finish line and collapse to the ground, sputtering. Two miles is nothing compared to what I used to walk/run in the forest with Gale! Or in either of my trips to the Hunger Games.

I’m soaked to the bone. The rain is refreshing on my burning ribs and I have to resist the urge to take off my shirt. If I did, I'm sure my skin would sizzle. I'm glad we only have conditioning left. I think I’d pass out if I had to do any more running.  Conditioning is mostly stretching and core workouts. Soldier York lets us go after close to half an hour. I look at my arm, which just leaves dinner, reflection, and sleep. I sigh with relief. I need to sleep. I’m exhausted. It’ll be a miracle if I get through dinner without passing out.

Johanna and I head back to the hospital wing and get into some dry clothes before dinner. I wring my hair out in the sink. I have to resist the urge to crawl into my bed. At dinner, I sit next to Johanna. The rest of our table is my mother, Prim, Finnick, Anie, and Gale, along with his family. There are a couple of open spots. The tables are large.  Johanna relaxes in her seat and her knee touches mine. I don’t pull away. My heart beats rapidly and I can’t focus on the story Prim’s telling. “Katniss, you alright?” My mother asks, eyeing me nervously. “Oh, yeah,” I tell her “I’m just exhausted from training. We had to run two miles,” That’s not a lie, but not the entire truth. I can’t stop thinking about Johanna’s leg touching mine and the warmth it’s giving. I can feel Johanna looking at me, but I don’t look back at her.

I’m quiet and just listen to everyone else’s stories. It’s kind of nice, just observing. Johanna starts to tell a story about something that happened in district seven. I love the sound of her voice. This almost feels like normal. Like eating dinner with some friends. It’s hard, though, to forget about the rebellion. At least it’s at the back of my mind now.  Someone walks up to the table with a tray. It’s Peeta, with his wrists handcuffed together. There are two guards standing behind him. With the small amount of slack he's got, he shifts his tray. “I’m supposed to ask if I can sit with you,” He says awkwardly. “Yeah, you can,” I manage. Peeta looks so different. It’s like he’s a different person than the boy with the bread. Even different than the boy in either arena. He even seems different than who he was on TV. He doesn’t have the same warmth that he used to, the sturdiness that kept me going.

I can’t help but think that this is my fault. I’m the one who volunteered to go to the games. I’m one who pulled out those berries, sparking this rebellion! In general, this is all because of me. Johanna would call me selfish, tell me that there was already a rebel plan. But I’m mostly thinking about Peeta. I feel awful.  I try to engage in the tense conversation but can’t get out many words because Peeta’s here and Johanna’s leg is still touching mine and I'm _tired_. I manage to talk a bit about training. When I bring up the fact that Johanna and I are with kids younger than us, Gale gets upset. “Katniss, I know how strong you are!” He says, “If you hadn’t slacked so much while you’ve been here, you’d be of more use as a soldier! Aren’t you taking this seriously?”

Gale’s words sting. I’m working as hard as I can right now, I can’t change the past. Gale’s words, Peeta’s presence, and Johanna’s touch are all so overwhelming and I’m not sure if I can take it. I don’t know why, but I burst into tears. This is so unlike me. I push my tray away, stand up quickly, and run out of the room. On my way out, I see my mother stop Prim from going after me.  My tears won’t stop. I make my way to the hospital room and shut myself in the bathroom. I hear someone walk into the room a few moments later and I assume it’s my mother or Prim. “Go away!” I shout.

“This is my room too, ya know,” Johanna’s voice surprises me. She opens the bathroom door and sits down criss-cross in front of me. “So, brainless,” She says, “Gale upset you with his little speech?” I wipe my face, lifting my head from my hands.  “It’s not entirely that. I guess I was just overwhelmed,” I admit. “Not everyone’s going to bend over backward to make you comfortable in life, Katniss,” Johanna says with an eye-roll. “I know that,” I defend, crossing my arms over my chest. “I never said you didn’t know that. Just reminding you,” Johanna intones. “Are you finished crying yet? I’ve gotta go get ready for bed,”

“Yeah, thanks for coming after me,” I spill. She nods and stands up. I have a sudden urge to get up and kiss her. I have to fight against myself. When she’s gone, I take a quick shower and get into pajamas. Johanna sort of wipes herself off with a damp cloth. I guess we did kind of get a shower out in the rain, plus Johanna doesn’t have much hair. To each their own, I guess.

I get into my hospital bed and lay down, relieved to get some rest. Tomorrow, I decide, I’ll get Johanna and myself out of the hospital. We need to stop being patients.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for this chapter! I'll be writing a lot more soon, so chapters will most likely come more than once a week.
> 
> Reviews/comments are always appreciated!
> 
> -Wren


	4. Bombs

* * *

I wake with a start. Not from nightmares, though. It’s three-thirty in the morning. A shrieking sound, it takes a few seconds to identify it as such, but I realize it’s the sirens warning us of a bombing. I get this point across to Johanna with a mixture of words yelled and hand gestures. Not caring that I’m still in pajamas, I grab Johanna’s arm and pull her out of the room. She still looks somewhat confused but I can tell she’s figuring it out. I let go of her arm and tell her to follow me.

My mother and Prim are right in front of us. Prim already has that awful cat in her arms. I’m relieved because I don’t want her to risk her life getting him like last time. We walk down flights of stairs and through long hallways. I have no idea where I’m going, I’m just following everyone else. My ears pop at a certain point and I have to yawn to get them back to normal. I explain to Johanna that this is the second time this bombing thing has happened. Eventually, we get to the bunker.

We’re waiting for instructions now. Prim, half asleep, is leaning against my mother. “Why do you think there’s another bombing?” I ask nobody in particular. “Because Snow’s an asshole,” Johanna answers. “I figured as such,” I snort.

I do the same as last time and head up to the desk. I get a pack for my mother, Prim, and I to share, then get assigned a compartment. Everyone follows suit. It’s weird, having them react the same way I do. They panic if I panic, they stay calm if I stay calm. I head to our assigned compartment.

A crackle as an announcement comes on. It explains how the first bomb is expected in T-minus five minutes, and we’re to remain in our compartments until further notice. Buttercup curls himself up on Prim’s lap and she soothes him. “I think you’d make a good mother someday, Prim,” I note. She’s good with the cat, plus she’s great with babies and kids. “You think so?” Prim asks, “I’ve always wanted to have kids at some point,” I truly hope that sometime after the rebellion, if Prim decides to have kids, she’ll be able to bring them into a safe world.

“Not anytime soon on my watch, missy,” My mother chuckles and taps Prim on the nose. I let out a light laugh. Prim leans over and places her head on my mother’s lap. She closes her eyes. I sigh contentedly. Our peaceful little moment is shattered by the ground shaking. Prim yells out as the first bomb goes off. My mother squeezes her eyes shut and holds Prim tight. I let my mother put her arm around me. I try not to think about the fact that this bunker could collapse on us at any moment.

The lights go out. The world around us is shaking while bomb after bomb goes off. This goes on for what seems like forever. What’s above us is certain to be crumbled, broken beyond repair. I keep waiting for a wall to crush me, to kill me. Eventually, though, the world goes still and somehow, we’re unscathed.

I look up hesitantly, as if simply breathing would be enough to trigger another bomb. “I think they’re finished,” Prim whispers. She’s proved wrong by the biggest bomb yet. It shakes me to the core. For some reason, I’m almost certain that was the last one. I think it was a missile, not a bomb. Something strong to make sure they killed the last of us. But they didn’t. The Capitol can’t break us. It takes Prim a few moments to stop shaking. I scoot over to her and wrap my arms around her, repeating to her that it’s over, that it’s going to be okay. It’s a lie though. I have no idea what’s going to happen next. I’m also comforting myself by saying it’ll be okay.

“Please remain in your assigned compartments until further notice. This round of bombs has stopped, but we’re unsure whether more are coming,” The lights come back on. Powered by a generator, I think. Unless we got electricity back. Gale told me last time that thirteen has a huge generator designed to power the whole underground district for weeks to months in the event of an emergency. I think this counts as an emergency.

I sit in silence on the ground while my mother and Prim go to sleep in the two beds. I’d share a bed but I tend to thrash. I start thinking about Johanna. Who is she in a compartment with? Was she alone and scared when these bombs were going off? I shake that thought. Johanna doesn’t really get scared. Angry, yes. Fierce, yes. But I’ve never seen her frightened. I know she doesn’t have any family left. She told me once that there’s no one left she loves. It saddens me to think she’s lonely. I never know how she feels! Johanna seems to build a wall around herself. I wish I could get through that wall, see who she is inside.

I fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion. No nightmares, just a dreamless sleep. When I wake, it’s close to eleven in the morning. That means I’ve slept for six hours. That’s kind of a record and I feel refreshed. It’s been a while since I’ve slept without nightmares. Prim and my mother are gone. On medical duty, I assume. Now that it’s safe to do so, I go wander around the bunker.

I hate being underground. I realize it’s selfish, but my lungs ache for fresh air. I don’t feel 100% alive until I’m above ground and outside. It’s so stuffy here in thirteen. I know that being underground is for my safety--all of our safety. When we get aboveground, I’m going to go hunting. I haven’t used my hunting privileges nearly enough. But before that, I’m going to make sure that Johanna and I get out of the hospital. We can’t be viewed as patients anymore if we want to be taken seriously. 

Speaking of which, I should probably go find Johanna. Make sure she’s alright. Just as I’m contemplating asking an official where she’s roomed, I find her wandering the hallways where the compartments are located. “Fancy seeing you here,” I say. I mentally facepalm. Why can’t I speak normally around her?” Johanna nods in my direction and walks over.

“Lovely weather, isn’t it?” Johanna laughs that angry, high-pitched laugh of hers. “Who do you have to room with?” I ask. I fall into pace next to Johanna and we pace the corridors. “I got one of the bigger compartments for people on their own. I’m with a dude, native to thirteen, I think. He doesn’t talk. There’s a woman who cried the whole time, and a young guy who made a bit of conversation,” I nod. At least she wasn’t alone during the bombings.

Just as I’m about to talk, Johanna starts to vent. I snap my mouth shut-- she doesn’t vent often and I want her to know I’m here to listen. “It just pisses me off, you know?” I nod. “This whole thing!” She continues, “I  _ want  _ to help, but everyone just passes me off as a patient. Someone who can’t do things by herself and needs to be dealt with carefully. I’m a victor, for goodness sake! I’ve killed people, I can help fight a war!” Johanna wipes at her eyes furiously. I reach out and brush her arm with my hand. “I’m sorry. That sucks,” Is all I say. 

That seems to be what she needs to hear, because I see her face soften and she takes my hand and squeezes it, then lets go. I swear, my body nearly goes into overdrive. Johanna just says, “You and I, we’re victors. We’ve got this,” I grin and tell Johanna my plan to get us out of the hospital. 

“There’s no way they’ll let me out,” she sighs. “It’s worth a shot!” I say, almost pleading. She finally agrees to ask with me when we get out of the bunker. After a bit of asking around, we learn some details on just how much damage was done.

We learned that there’s a sort of metal sheet over the top floor of district 13. It can be pulled over at moments notice and protect the district from threats. These capitol bombs and missiles are huge, and the metal can only do so much. The first floor is almost entirely obliterated, and there’s some damage to the second and third floors. They tried to target Special Weaponry, but didn’t manage to get that far down.

What angers me most is the fact that the Capitol invasion has to be delayed. If I could go now, I would. I want to defeat the Capitol, then I want this to all be over. I want everyone to be okay. But I guess, for now, all I can do is help out where I can and be patient. Patience is a strong suit of mine. 

I’m brought back to the present by Johanna leading me into her compartment. “My legs are tired,” She groans and flops down on what I assume is her bed in this compartment. The people she mentioned before are nowhere to be found. I sit next to Johanna on the bed.

“I’m glad I have you,” I blurt before I can stop myself. Johanna nods, as if to tell me to keep going, so I continue. “It’s just, like, having victors here is nice. It’s good that we can all relate to one another on some level. Plus, you keep me going in training when I think I’ll fall down,” Johanna simply says, “I’m glad I have you, too,” I don’t know whether I want to blush or cry. The tension between us is palpable. Johanna gives me a look that seems to set me on fire. She leans forward at the same time I do. Johanna pulls me into a kiss. Our lips meet and my stomach flips. We haven’t been kissing for even a second when the door opens. We throw ourselves apart. “Prim!” Johanna and I yell out at the same time.

What is it with my little sister walking in on me kissing Johanna? “Okay, okay,” Prim laughs, “I’ll knock next time!” Prim is beet red and covering her eyes. I start to laugh out of sheer embarrassment. Johanna’s lips are set in a smirk and she’s just shaking her head. “What’s going on here?” Prim asks, gesturing toward Johanna and I. “Isn’t it kind of obvious?” Johanna says, “I was kissing your sister,”

“I’m guessing what happened in the hallway the other day was the same thing?” Prim draws out as if she’s not quite sure. “You got that right, Primrose,” Johanna says nonchalantly. She adds, “You can move along now, I think your sister would prefer if you didn’t tell anyone,” I start to interject but decide against it after Prim closes the door.

“It seems like Prim always walks in on us,” I groan. Johanna nods, “A little embarrassment won’t kill you, Everdeen,” I subconsciously lick my lips, then go bright red because I should  _ not  _ have done that. Johanna just shakes her head and chuckles, “Dork,”

An announcement tells us we need to head to lunch. When we stand up, Johanna puts her lips near the side of my mouth, “C’mon. I’m ravenous,” She says quietly. Shivers run down my back but I ignore them. Johanna is so confusing. One second she’s kissing me, the next she seems to think of me as nothing more than another victor. I groan internally. I’ll never understand Johanna Mason.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was meant to be a slow burn, but I made it go too quickly, oops. I think I’ll slow it down a bit from here! Sorry if my updates become a bit less frequent. I’ll still try to get some writing done daily/do longer chapters! I’m trying to get more inspired for this and already have ideas!
> 
> As always, reviews/comments are appreciated! Thanks!
> 
> -Wren


	5. Sober

I don’t get bored very often, but right now, I’m so bored that I’ve taken to pacing around the compartment. It’s been five days since the bombs went off and we’re still not allowed out of the bunker. Being this far underground makes me restless and I need something to do. My mother, Prim, and I go outside the compartment and play Crazy Cat with Buttercup. It seems like some others are getting uneasy and bored because soon enough, I’ve got a small group around me. Gale and I are watching as Prim sits Posy in her lap and teaches her to play Crazy Cat. It’s pretty simple, just waving a flashlight around for Buttercup to chase. Posy’s giggles and Prim’s laughter bring light to the room. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. 

My mind wanders to Johanna. I haven’t seen her since lunch the day after the bombs went off. I hope she’s not cooped up in her compartment. I glance around the main area and she’s nowhere to be found, so I decide to go look for her. I slip away from everyone and try to remember Johanna’s compartment number. 46, I think. She ends up being in 47.

“It can’t be good for you to stay in this compartment for so long. Have you even come out since lunch the other day?” I shut the door behind me and sit down on the end of her bed. Johanna looks like she’s just woken up.

“What the fuck do you want?” Johanna tries to smack me but misses. She looks miserable. 

I sigh and say, “You need to eat something and clean yourself up. Remember how we’re trying to get out of the hospital once we’re out of the bunker? There’s no way they’ll let you out if you can’t take care of yourself.”

I’m usually not so assertive, but seeing her like this upsets me for some reason. Her pupils are super dilated and her skin looks jaundiced. She can’t still be having effects from morphling, right? Unless she’s been stealing more, which somehow I don’t doubt. I don’t mention it because I’d rather not get slapped.

“Whatever,” Johanna flops back down, “Just let me die then.”

“No!” I say a little too desperately, so I cough and pretend that my voice cracked because I had a tickle in my throat. I roll my shoulders and pull the covers off of Johanna. “It’s dinnertime.” I stand by her bed until she gets up.

At dinner, when there’s a lull in the conversation, my mother pulls me off to just outside the eating area. “Johanna looks like she’s dying. Do you know if she’s alright? Should the medical staff be keeping an eye on her?” she says. 

“Why should I know?” I say defensively, “I mean, I don’t know. She’s fine, I think. Nobody’s at their best in the bunker! We’re so far underground, you know?” I’m rambling so I shut my mouth.

“Okay, if you say so,” my mother sounds skeptical, “but I’m going to need to search her compartment. She’s looking like she did when she was on morphling.”

“Okay.” I reject the eye contact my mom is trying to make with me and walk back to the table. I should probably keep Johanna busy while my mom and some of the medical staff search her room. If she’s got morphling, she probably won’t like having it taken away.

Johanna and I spend the evening playing cards with Prim. We’re in the middle of a game when we get the best news ever. We get to leave the bunker! There’s practically a stampede toward the door, but Johanna hangs back and walks toward her room. Here it comes.

I hear a yell. “There it is.” I mutter. I run to her compartment. Johanna’s fuming. I don’t ask what’s wrong, I just take her arm and bring her out of the room. She sometimes needs help when she’s mad. I noticed this back in the arena when she got so mad after the blood rain that Finnick had to dunk her in the water multiple times until she calmed down. When she’s calmed down a bit, I tell her to act recovered while we try to convince the medical staff to let us get out of the hospital.

After some pleading, a promise from my mother that she’ll look after us, a promise from Johanna that she’ll come in often for check-ups, and, thanks to Haymitch, an idea for a compromise, Johanna and I no longer live in the hospital. We now live together in a compartment. It’s just across from my mother and Prim’s. That way, my mother can keep an eye on us as she promised. 

We spend the rest of the evening moving into the compartment. While there’s really not much stuff to move, we both have to put our bedding on and move our government-issued clothing into the drawers.

Johanna’s been pretty much exclusively in hospital gowns, so we have to go get her some clothes. “Sexy, isn’t it?” Johanna smacks herself in the butt and twirls in a circle, showing off the clothes. They’re not super fashionable, but they’re functional. Johanna and I both crack up a bit. 

I grin thinking about what Effie Trinket would say if she saw me(or anyone, really) in these clothes. 

Tonight is rougher than the day. Johanna’s withdrawal is just starting. She’s pacing the room and she keeps yawning but refuses to go to sleep. By five the morning, I’ve only slept close to three hours and she hasn’t slept at all.

By the time we’re supposed to be awake and doing our schedules, Johanna’s in a heap on the bathroom floor. I walk into the bathroom and try to clean up a bit. “Johanna?” I flinch a little when she looks up at me. She’s burst a blood vessel in her eye from all the vomiting she’s been doing. She looks positively demonic. I feel pretty bad for her.

I debate getting a doctor but decide against it. Even though what she’s going through is scary, I think she can do it and I don’t want to risk her getting back into the hospital. Even though she’s a bit of a mess right now, I think it’s going to be pretty cool sharing a space with Johanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot second(Like three months) since I've updated this, but I finally got some inspiration and wrote this chapter. Reviews/comments are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Wren


End file.
